Dearest January,

I had a real blast last year. I had the best of year 2011. I received countless blessings. I fulfilled a lot of dreams. Many opportunities came my way.

I welcomed 2012 with a thankful heart. I vowed to celebrate life every day. I committed myself that I will be brave to embrace the graces and opportunities God will give me.

I have great plans for 2012. My travels. My RDL retreat. My crazy 20 of 12. My career endeavors. And more. I am ready for life.

But I guess life is more ready for me.

Prayers of my prayer warriors had been heard. I received a gift that I never expected, planned or desired. With fears I welcomed the opportunity to open the door to something that is unfamiliar, unknown and definitely I cannot rationalize.
True, as I welcome this chance, I am going out of my comfort zone. I am opening the possibility to either change or re-affirm my previous decisions. I am allowing myself to detach from my subjective inclinations and biases.

I am reconsidering my choices. I am searching for answers. I am looking for meaning.

I have my fears, my doubts, my discomfort to the ambiguity of things, my questions to the possibilities. I cried many times because of this. All of them are tears of surrender. I am not giving up, but I am submitting myself to fully discern about this matter.

To be honest, my heart is happy I am enjoying every step in this journey to discovery. Each unfolding moment brings joy that I can’t name nor measure. Side by side with happiness and joy, I face each day with difficulty, I have to unlearn many things, I have to let go of some old ways. I have to die to my old self, and give birth to a new.

About this matter, I don’t have game plans, no theoretical framework, no experiments, no expectations.

Only prayers.

And one genuine desire to go through this discernment journey.

I am taking my time, basking in the grace of the moment, relishing in the here and now, where my God wants me to be.

As I said goodbye to you to welcome February, I thank you for the surprises. With you, this year already made its mark to be unforgettable.

Sincerely,

Heartbeats

20 of 12

Here is how I would like to spend my 2012
They are additional items to my bucket list, my crazy 20 of 12

1. Participate in 12 running events. I'm planning to accomplish a full marathon (42km). I also want to run for a cause, given the opportunity. I will wear my personalized bib (RUNNING HAPPY. LIVING FREE. LOVING MORE.), every time.
2. Attend 12 weddings. Among my friends and relatives it will be impossible to reach that number (not many of them will get married by 2012) So I'm planning to gate crash if necessary to complete the target hahaha!
3. Celebrate 12 birthdays. I will celebrate birthdays of other people in special way with birthday cake, birthday cap and banners.
4. Collect 12 Starbucks tumblers. I'll be happy to have a dozen more, an addition to my collection (sb tumbler gifts are still accepted).
5. Treat 12 special people I would love to share special moments with special people (places and persons are of my choice).
6. No carbo-day for 12 days in one year Once a month voluntary hunger strike! I hope I will be able to sustain and survive!
7. Drink soft drinks for only 12 days in a year. I will consume 1 liter each day, para sulit hahaha!
8. Learn to cook 12 dishes. At lutuin ito ng masarap at sana magustuhan din ng iba.
9. Adventure travel to 12 tourist destinations in the Philippines It will be a back pack adventure travel/s, maximum of Php1,000.00 a day. I will spend lazy and carefree days in the mountains, seas, islands and air (with travel buddies). Indeed IT'S MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES (gandang pilipinas continues!)
10. Read 12 classic novels. I asked a friend to recommend books to read. My target is to finish at least 1 book per month. It will definitely be a good time.
11. Watch 12 classic movies. I still don't have any ideas what movies. Can you recommend some?
12. Eat 12 exotic dishes I want to taste--something nakakaiba, kahit hindi masarap basta walang lason. It will be very challenging!
13. Text 12 persons each day. Super tamad akong magtext but I really would like to do it. I want to give them something to smile about.
14. Be productive at work and in life at least 12 hours every day. I give my best hours at work. I give my best in life.
15.I will place 12 bets in different games/lottery. I hope to win and become rich! I'll start searching for my lucky numbers.
16. I will save 12 pesos each day. At the end of the year, i will spend it. I don't have any idea yet as to what and for whom.
17. Learn and sing 12 songs. Kakanta ako at kakantahan kita. Iduduyan ko ang puso mo sa musika!
18. Pray for 12 persons every day. I will pray for their special intentions. I hope that in my little way I'll be of help in the fulfillment of their hearts' desire.
19. Celebrate 12 moonlights and sunshines. I will embrace life with a brave heart, I will discern, risk and love.
20. Learn, love and live the next 12 months while--running happy, living free, loving more, embracing life and thanking God.

there is only desire that fuels everything--
that is to take each moment, live each time,
journey each step to be closer...
+amdg+

(image is from prlog.org)

High jumps 2011

I had a great year 2011. My heart is happy and for endless reasons I am truly thankful. Let me site some:

Roadruns. Countless morning jogging, 4 fun runs, 1 national race and 1 international marathon. My biggest achievement was my half marathon (21km). I’m looking forward to finish my first full marathon. Aja! I was also privileged to run with great runners.
Travels.
My Gandang Pilipinas adventure was in full bloom! Sagada adventure. Manila mania. Albay escape. Cavite road trip. Batangas challenge. Sorsogon hike. More places to reach, more adventures to enjoy, more trips to take. Thank you travel buddies and strangers I met along the road.
Starbucks and tea times.
Great stories. Genuine friendship. Real treasure. I am deeply thankful. I got three SB planner this year (spruce)—for myself, running warrior and summer.
The Big Bangs.
New work assignment. Birthdays. Weddings. Family affairs. Parties. Glamour and beauty. Surprises and expectations. Fantasies and realities. They took my breath away and flew me to the moon.
Heart connections.
Witches (happier-stronger @15 years—more kids and warlocks to come!), Foursome (thank you for the prayer sundates, XOXO), SuperB at old friends (im happy to grow old with you), Residents of Pooh -old and new(my heart finds home in you), Reserved Bachelors*(going beyond the distance, Gracias ♥) Thursday people (thank you for the company and everything)and more (for the dosages of love and comfort of presence).
My Moon and my Stars.
Sunshine (I’m happy for your perpetual yes); Summer (Our prayers had been heard, now everything is in place. Thank you for the love). Mr Heart (let us take one step at a time, getting closer and closer, thank you for everything). Angel Gabriel (Thank you for the moonlights). Green Lantern (Thank you for bringing beautiful sparks in my life). Dahil sa inyo abnormal ang tibok ng aking puso. Babadapbadap♥♥♥
My Lovelines.
Beyond distance and changing times your love and support made me see the beauty in simplest thing, the joy in the plainest gesture and the graces in the ordinary. To the moon and back I love too much.
Moontime.
Moments of solitude-- to be silent and listen to the stirrings within. Days of retreat and prayer to look into the greatness in nothingness and emptiness in perfection. To explore, to cry alone, to laugh in silence, to be sorry to be thankful. To be naughty. To dream. To win. To lose. To risk. To live. To Love. To let go. And love again.
My God.
I feel His eyes looking at me. His hands embracing me. His heart loving me. I received many blessings, sacrificed some. I experienced abundance of happiness, endured some pains. For everything that You gave me, All of me is yours.

Cheers to love and life. Well done 2011!
+AMDG+

at 63

Three years ago, stroke robbed us of the chance to run together at sunrise
but i'll never get tired of walking with you during your morning walks.
You may not be able to travel to different places as you used to be
but i always enjoy the conversations we have about my adventure trips.
Your speech may not be as fluent as before but
i always love listening to your stories and your laughter is a music to my ears.
you may not be as strong as you were in the past
but you're still my superman.

At 63,
with good health,
stress free retirement,
successful children,
happy marriage, and
grateful heart
I believe that you've done a great job
and still living a good life...
i hope in the years to come,
we can give you grand children
and show you through endless opportunities that you are deeply loved.

happy birthday daddy.
i love you across the universe,
and back.

2 months

2 months without any blog entry
maybe,
i had been hibernating
keeping my thoughts
hiding my feelings
running somewhere
flying out there
so much had happened
many are still happening...

i'm happy,
definitely back
starting a new
ready for everything...

this thought really inspires me--

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot
learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; he has forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.” ― Leo Buscaglia

heart whisphers

Heavenly Father,
You love me and you call me every moment of my life.
You have a plan for me,
a plan that will help me grace the world
in the unique way that only I can.
Send your Spirit into my heart and mind.
Enlighten me with your wisdom
that I may come to know today
where you are calling me in life.
Give me the strength today
to answer that call
and inspire others to help me.
I make this prayer
through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

7175

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trail way
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can
You can reach me by sailboat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can
**There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, then surely you would be closer
I need you closer (interlude, then repeat bridge)
You can windsurf into my life,
take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon,
but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan,
cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here,
just- get here if you can
I don't care, I don't care,
I need you right here right now
I need you right here, right now,
right by my side (yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah)
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can

sa tuwing naririnig ko ang awiting ito, ikaw ang naaalala ko. August din yun di ba? ilang August na rin ang lumipas, pero sa kantang ito ikaw pa rin ang himig ko. sana patuloy kang maging masaya at walang sawang yakapin ang kahulugan ng buhay at tunay na pag-ibig. salamat sa lahat, hayaan mo balang-araw makikita rin tayo.

young l♥ve

Gaya ng dati, pagtunog ng kampana sa dapit-hapon
ang aking mga yapak ay unti-unting tinatahak ang daang palagian ng binabaybay.
Patungo kung saan umaawit ang kampana, sa Kanyang dambana.
Kaunti ang mga tao sa simbahan, tahimik at taimtim ang mga dasal.
Bago magsimula ang pagdiriwang, nakuha ang aking pansin ng isang batang lalaki
na mag-isang naglakad papasok at umupo sa unahan.
Siguro siya ay mga walong taon gulang at pula ang Tshirt nya (baka birthday).
Habang nagmimisa, nandoon din sya sa isang sulok ng simbahan, nakikilahok sa Sakramentong banal.
Sa aking pag-iisa napangiti ako ng makita ko siyang pumila sa pagkumonyon, may saya sa aking damdamin ang masilayan siyang lumuhod at seryosong nananalangin.
Sa aking pagdarasal aking nabanggit, Panginoon, pakinggan Mo po ang panalangin ng batang ito. Sana sa bawat sandali ng kanyang buhay maramdaman niya ang Iyong pagmamahal at yakapin niya ito ng buo.
Nang matapos ang misa, sinundan ko siya ng tanaw habang palabas ng simbahan.
Inaabanagan ko na lalapit siya sa kanyang nanay o sinuman ang kasama niya, pero humanga ako lalo ng makita ko siyang sumusipul-sipol palabas ng simbahan papunta sa gate, walang kasabay.
Muli kong nabanggit sa king sarili, Lord salamat ha, sa muling pagpapaalala, na ang pagmamahal mo sa akin at ganoon din sa iba. Masaya ako na makita yun ngayon, sa mukha ng isang bata.

*hugs*

salamat sa mga mata,
na nag magmulat sa akin sa kagandahan ng mundo.
salamat sa pang-amoy,
na naging daan upang malanghap ang halimuyak ng hangin.
salamat sa pandinig,
na naging tulay upang marinig ang saliw ng musika.
salamat pakiramdam,
na nagpadama sa akin ng tibok ng aking puso.
salamat Panginoon
sa mga biyayang pinagkaloob mo sa akin
at sa paglikha ng aking pag-katao upang maging Sa'yo.

thank you for the everyday miracles and angels
love mo talaga ako Lord,
at love din kita.
*HUGS*
(prayer 07.13.11., 5pm mass, Christ the King Churc, AdNU)

112

hello sunshine...
hindi mo lang (siguro) alam
kung gaano mo ako napapasaya
sa mga simpleng bagay
sa ordinaryong pag-uusap
sa nakasanayang ugnayan
tuwa talaga ang dulot mo sa akin
pati kilig na rin
kaya ang puso ko nakangiti
at tila may kakaibang kiliti
ang humahaplos sa aking damdamin
sa tuwing iisipin ko na ika'y nariyan
salamat ha...
(hanggang sa muli ha ♥♥♥)
toinks!